Mostly Mean-Spirited One-Liners
“Boyhood” (12 years of piffling growing pains in Dullsville, Texas; feels longer): Oh, grow up!
Ellar Coltrane: Blah, Blah, Blah.
“Titanic” (Cute, talentless artist goes down on girl, ship): Kitsch ‘n’ sink drama
Frozen Hottie Cocktail: Freeze Leo into human icicle; slide icicle into drink and away you row.
“The Chosen” (Growing up Hasidic in Brooklyn): Oyhood
Robby Benson, Barry Miller, Rod Steiger: Yutz, Klutz and Putz.
“Fiddler on the Roof” (4 Weddings and a Pogrom): The hora! The hora!
Chaim Topol as Tevye: Less than Zero.
“Johnny Guitar” (Saloonstress Joan Crawford vs. gunslinging bulldyke nutjob): Trigger harpy
In foreground: Frank Ferguson, Mercedes McCambridge, Ward Bond: Lez, miserables.
“The Snows of Kiliminjaro” (Author, safari, sex, infection, flashbacks, death): Writer schlock
Firecracker Ava, Wet Blanket Greg: Cunt and Peck.
“Gentleman’s Agreement” (Fake Semite Greg Peck gives anti-Semites heck): I, the Jewry
Shmeggege-ry Peck: Darf min gehn in kolledj?
“Humoresque” (Dipso doyenne foregoes fiddler; drowns sorrows, self): Humorlessque
Joan Crawford prepares to take eternal dip.
“Watch on the Rhine” (1943; Hellman wags finger, warns: Nazis BAD!): Quatsch on the Rhine
Middle-brow loftiness: Bette Davis, Paul Lukas and the Three Little Prigs come to town to lay it on thick.
“The Women” (Harridans tear each other to shreds — a romp): Hen pals
Costumier Adrian gets his freak on. It’s the Merry Widow Cocktail Waitress ensemble for Rosalind Russell — it’s not for everyone, but for madcap Roz, c’est la mode juste! Mr Brian Aherne’s lovely young bride is a peach in that creamy Little Bo Peep of Sutton Place housecoat. But, say, isn’t that the Widow Thalberg there on the right? You know it, brother! No more sombers for this vivacious lady! She’s footloose, fancy-free, out on the town, and making the scene inside her stunning World of Tomorrow Ice Box frock — ain’t she a beaut? It’s functional! Keeps a chickie warm and her Popsicles cold. Who’s ready for a Perisphere Freezie?
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Latest (10/04/14) edition of flash pans – funny in a couple languages, no less!
I’m familiar with about 3/4 of the movies mentioned, but funny thing, instead of wanting to “pass” on viewing them (should they come across my TV tube), I want to check them out to see what all the “fuss” is about.
Well done and full of ch-ch-chuckles!